Staying Sane

If I had to guess, strictly from my observations, I would venture that mothers today are not striving to be saints but merely trying to stay sane. Even though my own nest is now empty, I remember the days of juggling six hundred activities and chores while striving to be a nice person in the process. Saints are traditionally accepted as being nice people. Saints are also looked upon from afar and, for most of us, well, it seems we have little in common with them.

The exception I offer especially to women and particularly Moms, is St. Jane de Chantal. St. Jane who was wife, mother, daughter and daughter-in-law is surely someone I'd like to know. The title Saint came long after the Mrs. and Mom titles. St. Jane knew the struggles of being a Mom, the tragedy of early widowhood, single parenting and even living with in-laws (a point some would suggest qualified her for automatic canonization.) Jane did have the good fortune and blessing to have as her spiritual mentor St. Francis de Sales. Still, it was Jane's openness and faith that allowed her to hear and practice all that St. Francis offered to her.

"Always make your way before God and before yourself. God takes pleasure to see you take your little steps and like a good father who holds his child by the hand, He will accommodate His steps to yours and will be content to go no faster than you. Why do you worry?" Francis de Sales: Thy Will Be Done, p. 31

Madame de Chantal

Chances are we Moms will not have a pen pal the likes of St. Francis but we do have his words and example as well as those of his faithful friend and student, St. Jane. At the age of thirty, Jane was widowed, the mother of four and dependent on her father-in-law for her family's well being. Is it any wonder Jane took to heart Francis' advice to live in God's presence? In doing so she entrusted every aspect of her life to the lord. The worries about her children, the tension of trying to please relatives, the grief from a tragic loss - these trials are as real today as ever. St. Jane shows us through her life and its battles to whom we should turn and from whom we should seek our answers. More importantly, she points the way to Him in whom we must find our daily peace.

As my children's world grew ever wider, mine did too as I sent them further and further out of the reach of my safety net called "home." As all mothers before me learned, I had to see I had no option but to give them "back" into their heavenly Father's care. I've come to know, as Jane must have, that He has always been looking after His children and will continue to do so through eternity; they were truly only on loan to me. So now what new role can we Moms take on as we retire some of the old roles? St. Jane helped St. Francis start a new order of religious after her children were grown. Perhaps we are not all called to aspire to such achievements. But we must, as St. Jane inspires, continue on our personal faith journey, placing our own life in the hands of our Perfect Parent.

But Jesus called them to Him, saying, "Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it." Luke 18:16-17

To You, Lord, my cares I give

As busier becomes the life I live.

The time it seems just races by

So to You do I send my cry.

Peggy Kerckhoff
author

Peace is my refuge knowing You're near

My courage born finding You conquer fear.

With the turning of each new day

Close to You, Lord, keep me I pray.

Peggy lives in St. Louis with her husband Chris. They have three children. Peggy treasures her association and friendship with the Visitation Sisters and Visitation Academy.

Copied from: De Sales World 15:2, Fall 2001, p.4.